Finding Prince Charming
by Pamela James
“Lord, please change him!”
Come on ladies, how many times have you prayed this or some cleverly disguised variation concerning your husband, fiancé, or boyfriend?
I prayed that particular prayer on more occasions than I care to admit. And many variations thereof, trying to fool myself that it was anything but a selfish prayer.
Have you awakened and suddenly wondered what happened to all the Prince Charmings? I’m a romantic soul and I love fairy tales. Happy endings are a must for me. After the honeymoon is over and the kids come, finances are tight and you are pulled in so many different directions you no longer know which end is up. You wonder where all the heroes went.
I pondered this early this year. God had been working on my outlook of family relationships and friendships. I looked at my husband and listed several of his nice qualities. Qualities I hadn’t taken time to notice in a long, long time. I made a few changes so that I could spend more time with him, and the most amazing thing happened.
See, the Bible tells us to respect our husbands. I think that is one of the hardest things the Lord asks us to do. Submission to Christ is one thing, submission to your husband is quite another. But the Bible is clear:
Ephesians 5:33 - . .and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Do you see any qualifiers there? Does it say if he deserves it? Does it say “when he brings home a five-figure paycheck”? No. Just respect him.
I believe you have to start it. You can’t be married for very long before you get hurt. Your husband says something insensitive, he does something wrong, something happens and you fight and retreat to your respective corners. The mistake is staying in that corner. Forgive him. Whether he asks for it or not. Show him the respect God told you to show. He may still be angry for a while longer, but don’t give up.
Romans 5:8 - But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
My husband had a temper problem. I made the first step and showed him respect (men tend to see respect and love as the same thing). I affirmed his wise counsel. He hasn’t even raised his voice in over a month. When we have a disagreement, we work it out in civil tones. All those things I wished he was, that I thought I married him for? They had gotten put on the back burner, just like his wants and needs had in my mind.
When I became the proper kind of wife, I suddenly realized that my Prince Charming had been there all along. He just needed a little attention to shine like the day we met.
Is your Prince Charming still there? I dare you to find out.